About terrestrial gravity
A sergeant explains to young soldiers a gist of Earth gravity:
- If to throw a stone upwards, then it drops to the ground. This means, that the terrestrial gravity effects it.
One of the soldiers asks:
- What if it drops into water?
- It doesn’t refer to us. This problem is considered by fleet.
At exam
An examiner asks a student:
- What is your name ?
- John Smith, sir.
- Why do you smile ?
- I’m satisfied with my answer for the first question.
An excellent work
A teacher returns a pupil his work:
- Not a single mistake was made! Johnny, tell me honestly, did anybody help your father ?
Valid reason
A teacher asks a pupil:
- Why does your father make home tasks for you every day ?
- Because my mother is always busy.
Study, sonny
- Dad, I’m expelled from the college.
- Don’t weep, I’ll buy you a new college.
School’s news
- Were you asked at school today ?
- Yes, I was.
- What about ?
- Why are you always absent at the parents’ meetings ?
Business-like conversation
- Uncle Bill, I need to tell you something.
- Well, but tell briefly and clearly.
- 100 dollars, please.
General disaster
Two boys went to a doctor.
- What do you complain about ? – the doctor asks.
- I swallowed 50 cents. – one of the
boys answered.
- And why do you weep ? – the doctor asks
the other boy.
- This is my money.
Fast calculation
A teacher asks:
- Tommy, find please a sum of these two numbers.
- But I didn’t lose it, sir.
About inertia
- Johnny, give an example of inertia.
- A car has stopped, but a driver is
going farther.
-------
- What is an inertia force ?
- A ball is flying to a window and it’s
impossible to catch it.
An essence answer
At an arithmetic lesson a teacher asks:
- How many will it remain, if to subtract 1
from 100 ?
- Two zeros.
Fast solution
A teacher of mathematics writes an equation on a
blackboard and calls a pupil:
- Billy, find
x
please.
- I have found, here it is! – the pupil answers
and shows to
x
with a finger.
Working week
- A cow gives 20 liters of milk a day. How many
liters of a milk is it possible to get for a week ?
- But we don’t know, how many days a week a cow
works.
Physics news
As it’s known, the famous Albert Einstein tried
to solve the problem
of time-space unity during last twenty years of
his life and didn’t
solve it. However this problem was solved
recently by sergeant Brown.
He drew up a platoon of soldiers and ordered
them to dig a ditch from
fence till dinner
hour.
New in geometry
- How is the biggest side in a right-angled
triangle called ?
As all the pupils keep silent the
teacher begins to help:
- Hy-po-…
- Hippopotamus !
New definition of fraction
A teacher of mathematics:
- If to take one tomato and to cut it by
4 parts, then each lobule is one
fourth part of a tomato. Now do you understand
what is a fraction ?
- Yes, it is a part of salad !